“Why didn’t I put myself forward for that role? I knew I could do it.”
“How did I let fear stop me just when the opportunity was right there?”
If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you’re far from alone. Many high-performing women find themselves holding back — not because they lack talent, but because internal and external pressures conspire to dim their own confidence. The irony is painful: the very qualities that make you thoughtful, communicative, and collaborative may sometimes feel like weights holding you back.
In this article, we’ll explore five psychological, social, and cultural factors that tend to sabotage professional progress among women. And most importantly, we’ll look at how evidence‑based mentoring and leadership development can act as a powerful corrective. If, as you read, you feel this resonates, then let’s talk: https://bit.ly/4eDL4lv.
1. Impostor Phenomenon and Self‑Doubt
One of the most widely documented internal barriers is the impostor phenomenon (often called impostor syndrome) — a persistent doubt about one’s abilities despite clear evidence of success. Women (especially in leadership) often wonder whether they deserve their roles, attributing success to luck or external factors rather than competence.
- A meta‑analytic review published in Personality and Individual Differences (2024) examined gender differences in the impostor phenomenon. It found that, although results are mixed, the prevalence and intensity vary by field and region, and that in many settings women report higher levels of impostor feelings than men do.
- According to a recent survey, 70% of women have experienced feelings of impostor syndrome at work, versus 58% of men. peoplemanagement.co.uk
- In the medical field, female physicians are more likely than male peers to experience impostor feelings, regardless of specialty or leadership role. PubMed
- Research shows impostor phenomena correlate with reduced career planning, reluctance to seek high-visibility roles, and lower motivation to pursue advancement. PMC
Why it matters: Self‑doubt undermines ambition. Over time, it leads to avoiding risks, underplaying achievements, rejecting stretch assignments, or failing to negotiate aggressively — all of which stunt a high-potential career.
What to do: Recognise impostor thoughts as internal scripts, not truths. Through structured mentoring, women can be guided to challenge those narratives, amplify their objective evidence (reviews, metrics, outcomes), and reframe their narrative arc from “fraud waiting to be exposed” to “learner with growing expertise.”
2. Fear of Success and Social Backlash
Beyond fear of failure lies a more subtle fear: fear of success. This manifests when women worry about the social cost of rising too high — being disliked, excluded, or branded as “too ambitious.”
- The origins of this phenomenon go back to classic psychology research by Matina Horner in the 1970s, who found that women (when asked to write stories about successful women) often imagined negative consequences — isolation, resentment, burnout — more than male authors did.
- This fear is reinforced by cultural expectations. Women are often socialised to be collegial and modest; when they step forward assertively, they risk violating unspoken norms and triggering backlash.
- Modern studies in gender and leadership note that women who adopt traditionally “masculine” tones may be judged harshly (“too aggressive”), yet if they remain soft, they may be dismissed. This double bind produces self‑censorship.
Why it matters: The fear of success becomes a brake on ambition. Women may decline leadership roles, avoid making bold moves, or tone down their aspirations to stay “safe” socially.
What to do: Mentors can help mentees navigate these social dynamics, design their self‑promotion in ways aligned with their values, and anticipate resistance. Through practice, safe feedback, and support, women can recondition their beliefs that success necessarily comes at a personal cost.
3. Stereotypes, Bias and the Glass Ceiling
Even as internal barriers are formidable, external pressures remain pervasive. Gender stereotypes and unconscious bias can subtly influence how women are evaluated, promoted, and perceived — and women often internalise these expectations.
- A global mentoring study by DDI found that 63% of women surveyed had never had a formal mentor, yet mentorship plays a critical role in shaping career trajectories. ddiworld.com
- Research into mentoring dynamics shows that female mentees in male-dominated mentor–mentee dyads sometimes perceive lower respect, indicating that gender of mentor may influence relationship quality. evidencebasedmentoring.org
- Longitudinal reviews in academic medicine demonstrate that gender-disparities in mentoring contribute to differences in promotion, productivity, and satisfaction. PubMed
- In South Africa’s public sector, a quantitative study showed a statistically significant relationship between mentor support, leadership development, and career advancement among women. PMC
Why it matters: Even the most confident woman may hit an invisible ceiling if the system doesn’t provide equal access to sponsorship, relationships, or credit for her contributions. Over time, repeated exclusion or subtle bias discourages effort, feeding a cycle of underexposure.
What to do: A diverse mentoring ecosystem helps. Seek mentors and sponsors who advocate for your visibility, open doors to stretch assignments, and call out bias. Parallel to personal growth, mentoring relationships can function as structural interventions to counter systemic barriers.
4. Role Overload & Work‑Life Imbalance
Women often bear disproportionate responsibility for caregiving, household work, and emotional labour. That “second shift” drains energy, time, and bandwidth, making it harder to invest in strategic career moves.
- A grounded theory study modelling mentoring’s impact on women’s work-life balance found that role management is the key mediator: effective mentoring can help women negotiate boundaries, prioritise, and reclaim time. arXiv
- In STEM and academic contexts, lack of structured mentorship correlates with higher attrition among early-career women trying to maintain both productivity and personal life. PubMed
- Mentoring literature emphasises that mentors who address life constraints, not just career tactics, enable sustainable progress. ResearchGate
Why it matters: Without space to rest, reflect, or strategise, ambitious women often shift into reactive mode: managing chaos rather than building momentum. Over time, they may self-sabotage by opting for “safe” paths that require less visible stretch or negotiation.
What to do: Effective mentoring programmes include holistic planning: not only “what’s your next role?” but “how will you structure your life to make that sustainable?” A mentor can provide accountability, share boundary-setting strategies, and introduce you to networks of support (e.g. peer groups, flexible-working champions).
5. Cultural Norms of Modesty and Under‑Promotion
In many cultures, norms discourage women from self-promotion or drawing attention to their achievements. You may be socialised to stay modest, defer credit to others, or wait for recognition rather than demand it.
- Research on mentoring over generations highlights that women often avoid the “sell yourself” narrative, which undermines their visibility in competitive cultures.
- A study on mentoring programs shows that structured mentoring helps women gain confidence to negotiate and proclaim their value.
- In STEM, the combination of mentorship, networking, and community support helps women overcome the internal inhibition to broadcast their accomplishments.
Why it matters: If you consistently underplay your wins, remain quiet in meetings, or hesitate to ask for promotion, others may underestimate you. Over time, this compounds: your brand visibility is weaker, and your career progression slows.
What to do: Mentors and advisors can coach you on how to tell your story, input your metrics and impact clearly, and frame your promotion narratives in ways that feel authentic. Serial feedback and role-play in mentoring contexts help you build confidence in owning your narrative.
Why Mentoring Works (and Why It Must Be Evidence‑Based)
Across studies, mentoring emerges as one of the strongest levers for transforming internal sabotage into strategic growth:
- A study in South Africa found a statistically significant relationship between mentorship, leadership development, and career advancement among women in the public sector.
- In academic medicine, systemic mentoring programmes correlate with higher research productivity, promotion rates, and career satisfaction for women.
- Mentoring is particularly powerful when formalized: structured programmes reduce randomness in access and ensure accountability for mentor–mentee matching.
- Research into mentor–mentee gender dynamics shows that female mentors can be particularly effective in nurturing trust and advocacy. But cross-gender mentoring also brings value — so mentor pools should be diversified.
- Mentoring also supports work-life balance: studies have shown that role management, life-context planning, and accountability are enhanced through mentoring relationships. arXiv
In short: mentoring helps transform sabotage into strategy. It provides insight, perspective, accountability, and structural support. It helps you rewire limiting beliefs and navigate social systems you didn’t create.
A Blueprint for Women Leaders
Here’s a suggested roadmap based on both evidence and practical experience:
| Phase | Focus | Questions to Ask | Mentoring Strategy |
| Awareness | Identify sabotaging beliefs & narratives | Which thoughts hold me back? Where have I played small? | Reflective mentor prompt, journaling, 360 feedback |
| Cognitive Reframing | Challenge internal stories with evidence | What are my objective wins? What do others say I deliver? | Mentor shares toolkits (e.g. internal “fact bank”), helps you re-author your narrative |
| Social Mapping | Recognise biases and barrier points | Where am I excluded? Who are the gatekeepers? | Mentor introduces you to networks, sponsors, and advocates |
| Life Design | Align career ambition with sustainable living | What boundaries do I need? What supports (childcare, rest) do I require? | Mentor helps you create a “life-career contract” and accountability plan |
| Self-Promotion & Visibility | Practice telling your story | How will I frame my impact? What metrics will I share? | Mentor supports rehearsal, gives feedback, and encourages outreach |
This is not linear — you may revisit phases, and different focuses co-exist. The key is having trusted, strategic partners (mentors/advisors) who hold you to stretch, protect you from burnout. And help you speak your value.
Your Next Step
If what you’ve read here struck a chord — if you’ve caught yourself nodding at one of these common saboteurs — then let’s explore together how you can break free of them.
If you feel it is for you, let us talk: https://bit.ly/4eDL4lv
Let’s turn internal resistance into strategic growth. Together, through evidence-based mentoring and leadership development, your ambition can unfold into lasting impact.
